.

My Shrinking Lover

III

Your Image! Dear love, your image

Comes to me in scarce shreds

Of death.

II

Where is your truth?

Where is your heart?

Have you lost the truth?

Have you lost the heart? 

I

My heart-less lover

in eternal disguise!

How flawless ? 

This Endless See

'

This is where you begin,

This is where you end,

' I ' will meet you here,

Here is where .  .  .

Where?

ere?

?

.

.

,

Where Pain Lies...

I swam inwards,

Against the currents,

You are beautiful…

Like a cloud; like a zygote,

Shapeless like universe,

beyond words.

I conceived love

Pregnant with flames,

Of sacred passion!

Unfortunately,

we began to grow,

Like fetus in womb,

turning upside down,

We are flooded outwards,

to find our only outlets.

Shaped body comes out

through shaped vagina!

I find us now,

Reflecting unalike images,

On the opposite mirrors,

Of body and heart!

We conceive death,

With the birth of corporeal,

Beginning to die,

Each moment,

Not because we forget,

the way to travel inwards,

but because now we know,

the way to travel outwards!

Body

My body suffers with pseudo stigma of the physical.

Why didn’t God let my breast grow inwards?

So that u cud drive into me and caress from within,

The fruits of passion ; Tender and Juicy.

The inseparable curves of my unending desire!

So, I turned inside out - In love, with love, by love.

To let you reach my inner fruits those are,

Internally hidden for an eternal touch.

I waited tirelessly; I am still waiting unclothed ---
Peel of my skin! Chop off my breasts! as i retrieve to death,  

Not knowing how to turn outside-in again!

Suicide

I creep heavily,
like a pregnant whore.
Fully loaded with "nostalgic fluids",
I suffocate in the last moments.
Through the dark tunnels,
worms crawl in anger,
onto my bulged pain!

I shrink towards death.
The unborn agony,
Ejaculates inwards,
Poisoning every vein,
Demise of Heart!

I rush in madness,
Wander like an outcast.
And I stop at the fissure of deep wound,
look through the ruptured opening,
within the bleeding cut,
I discover my"self",
Throbbing for death!

I cease to breath,
to become one with the wound,
that dwells within,
In silence.

Jasmine

Fragrance consumed.

Memories lure.

And the earth revolves,

Backwards.

Summer blooms.

Jasmines,

Pressed on my bed,

Turn red and wet.

Splash of fire,

Eject,

Burn.

Ashes from the past,

Fly to me,

Like ravens.

Heart loaf,

On the table,

Juicy.

You dine.

Blinded.

Every night.
I bleed within.

And I wake up,

Fresh jasmines,

New Born,

With old nightmares.

The earth revolves,

Again. 

Bubble

At my touch, it exploded!

Fragile or fierce?

Happily never after,

Dissent or assent?

Cuz at your touch,

I exploded!

High - Pitch - Love

You rub against the broken walls,

Of my fragmented feelings,

This friction began to flow,

Into my sinless silent nerves,

Bleeding in high pitch,

These thoughts of you,

Poisoned me with “love”,

Burning me alive in the depths,

Of you eluding to melt in me,

Beyond the walls, into the veins!

Love at Dusk

The layers of immeasurable sweetness mount,
As the beastly desires consume our bodies,
On this solid, flat, square, wooden bed – Fixed!
The saccharine fumes escape into the air,
Burning my imaginings of love's existence,
The holocaust of platonic spirits!

Crucify Me With Chopped Breasts ...

Crucify me with chopped breasts,

Peel off my youthful feminine skins,

Hang me to death; hang me to the trees of fertility,

For Am cursed with femininity –

Thousand jezebels stand in wait - Masturbating,

On the Day of Judgment,

With pots of stored blood and tears on their heads,

To break it on the messiah’s pure feet –

Castrate the early virgins soon, before they mature,

For no daughter can reproduce in pain and lust,

The mutilated widows are hidden,

Under the dark blankets, in the masculine darkness –

Blessed is the city that’s ruled by bisexual bastards,

The emasculated paradise on earth,

Infinite screams of women- ness buried,

Beneath the soils of “human” sex –

Irk

 

You write,
The lovely dreams,
On my spread heart,
You write beautifully,
The secret stories,
I feel it while you write,
I open my eyes to see,
But, you rub it away,
Even before I read!
I search insanely,
For the lost letters,
Frustrated and irksome,
Grow sharp claws of pain,
To tear and pierce,
Blood all over the place,
Split open my precipitated mind,
I gaze into it,
Find blank pages,
Fluttering calmly,
In silence and death!

You weave,
The garment of love,
Your body with mine,
Closely and genially,
I feel the warmth,
I wish to cover myself,
With that eternal robe,
But, you untie the threads,
Tear it anxiously,
Even before I wear,
Leaving me naked,
Cold,
Desperate,
I find the pieces torn,
Of rejected clothes,
Lying scattered on the floor!
My heart fails to beat,
My mind lost in nothingness,
Numb and in love,
I remember you…

Thrilling Throbs!

I open the eyes of my feel to perceive favorite extracts,
Those that awaken precious moods with flavors of you,
To shower the magical aroma within my heart’s spaces,
The thoughts that squeeze the darling essence of you!

I sense the overflowing pleasure at your reminiscence,
To hear those sweet soundings of cherished moments,
Whose waves touch the thrilling throbs beating for you,
Which are spread on my heart’s floor and mind’s shores!

You sync with every resonance of my mellifluous desires,
Every stroke of your nostalgic reflection strikes within me,
Love -unfetters my soul as am completely drenched in you,
You blow and flow in me, painting my loveliest seasons ever!

Pebbles - love

It’s such bliss to spray all those kernels –“love” on plain white papers of my spirits,
To shower those luscious seeds on each glassy layers of my conspicuous feelings,
Thoughts of you are scattered all over the place, even in the far away frozen zones,
So intense to get deep into my intimate space that’s spread vast over my universe!

Can see the magic sparks of your glimpses braided over my sweetest membranes,
Entwined and connected scrupulously to the soaring secrets of my treasured realms,
Can feel some thrilling thrusts pushing softly within the core of my dream’s stimulus,
And I breathe to collect these angelic pebbles shining on my darkest stretches of life!

That mesmerizing touch and those promising gazes of you tune my silent melodies,
I hear the silvery echoes flowing along the waves; of hearty breezes sweeping me,
Memories flash over the mirrors of love and pain, reflect sensations of your traces,
Each beat of your heart turn into pearls alive which drizzle into my warmest caskets!

I unwrap you from my fantasies and desires to hold you close to my deepest feels,
To let those fervent grasps of your very reminiscence embrace me for an eternity,
My soul flows into ocean of your charisma; absorbed in my every irresistible vein,
The pebbles of love evoke my finest lives; you - my sweetest pebble - so magnetic!

Feel - Loss

Comatose that glossed over my senses to let my “love” slip out of my hand…
Which is the venom that perfumed my secure self with cold, impassive redolence…?
Laboring to preserve my lost treasures and chattels, with my drugged assumptions…
Is the “reality” poisoned by inner ache and stained by crimson sweat from deep within?

Exploring the profound aura of my existence, only to penetrate in to the shallow origins,
Vision of hope seems blurred with images of uncertainty entwined with echoing numbness,
Painful doubts arise in indignity to melt fumingly in the air to reach your nowhere existence,
Captured in shackles of hope and life, am swelling and throbbing to escape these deadly irons.

Solicitude sinks into anxiety creeping into every vein, the hopeless flying butterflies!
Immersed in those black waters, whose vigorous waves uprooted my dreams and desires?
Breathing the wind that blew off my calm ecstasies and quite whispers in sweet times of yore!
The drained eyes are gazing into hollowness of empty nothings, are they never gonna shut?

Baptized in solitude and resurrect amidst of anguish, only to discover myself in life’s nucleus,
This dense affair with eternal, promise my heart transparent inspirations and silvery instincts,
To see the sparks of bliss in cherished heavens and let my spirit soar to the creations’ terminal,
This dream unveils itself only to liberate my curbed birth, to fly high and reach you, like a dove!

-Deep
8th November ‘09.