Await

When all I only have is

just a helpless memory

of a long lost lover.

A Distant Throe

In the midst of uncertain orgasms,

spurts a summer night in all its intolerance and

an invisible loathing for love, lover and light.

Soul

I find a memory....

        s

           u

               r

                 g   

                     i

                       n

                         g 

                              from the soul ..
                                                     ..   ImPAtieNtlY.

How far are you  from my
   sleeplessly stretched legs ?

The        night      spreads       itself   as      a       painful           spurt      of    orgasm    in      loss        of      a  

beautiful     trance !

Dear,
I hold you cautiously

in such fainting memory

of a sleepless dream.
                                                               

Yours loving

Heart

(In Exile)

                          

Impulse

Holding fast longingly

to tears that moisten

dry scattered afternoons

those subdue me

in solitary prisons

drowning in silence,

I reject impending love

that terrorize today’s grandeur

of unbounded sole-ness

making me scuffle

whether to cease or leap

over suffocating time,

while I respire only pain,

often unfathomed

to my fidgeting thoughts,

those unsettle me,

in sudden awakenings

of reluctant sleep,

as dreams turn disasters

by frailty and levity

of Infant love in me

crawling with the heart,

I unclasp lover’s arms

to be lost and found in love !

River

The lingering disquiets

of flowing waters underneath

the lorn echoes of my soul,

are eternally unheard,

on becoming,

unknown to each other,

in this dark,

that restlessly haunts !

Walk

 I walk away,

 And walk towards

 the night dreams.

 Which swivel like,

 Darkness and clouds,

 Like wind and time,

 Uncovering love,
 by overlapping images.

 In the swept past,

 of this love story,

 that’s heard in,

 every rain pat

 drop by drop,
 that's imprinted on,
 every night walk,
 step by step,
 telling tales,

 while falling asleep,
 little by little,
 into some unknown,
 unheard and unseen
 yesterday's memories !

 

I Long for Pain, In Pain !

Tonight,

Feels so dim, airy and resolved.

I gaze into my faint mind,

I look through and beyond,

Breathing in the pages of past,

I travel,

By memories – Immortal,

This fragile moment, 

Leads me into floating trance, 

Which comforts and covers,

My naked thoughts,

Those are shivering in cold of the day,

So I waited,

Till this hour of recluse,

During which I knock,  

The doors of my juvenescence,

-          Erratically hidden,

 Now, I seek to enter,

        Into the space of torment,

        To drink nostalgic pain,

        Yes! I am thirsty,

        I crave and crawl,

        For that quenching drop,

        Of ache and sorrow,

        This wakes up my drowsy thoughts,

        Those are vanishing in the air,

        Buried underneath soils of “comfort”,

        Lord, bless me with suffering,

        So that I can rise again,

        And fly,

        Beyond desires and joys,

        Into the spaces of ecstatic twinge,

        To waver and wander,

        In the heaviness of bright anguish,

        I soar into Morning through mourning,

        With ejected “grief”,

        And empty heart,

        So, I long for darkness again,

        Tears Tonight!

"Butterfly"

An aromatic spirit has flew to me from the space,
It’s all scented with “past” that’s overpowering,
With wings of smile and tear, it flies around me,
In every flutter and feather, in each detailed-ness,
I see my life written and designed on the surface!

I wonder, I realize, and I discover that “feeling”,
It’s buried within me, rooted deeply; “Nostalgia”,
I see the images flashing with every wave of it,
It’s born in the space that existed in every cell,
In Every nucleus, it’s alive to fill the void-ness!

This past tenor enters my world, to conquer me,
As I submitted to it, my world is no longer mine,
Just to be an alien, to be a physical, and a mortal,
This world of fantasy rests in my every thought,
Am powerless to fly along with this, Am Human!

Am struggling to be lost, to be immersed forever,
Let the immortal take control and consume me,
To hold this sweetest reminiscence for an eternity,
Let this song be heard till I flow to merge and unite,
To float over this in my loneliest hours, detached!

It’s not human, it’s not physical, it’s just nostalgia,
That crushed me, broke in me, flooded my heart,
It’s a feeling, it’s a tear, it’s a breath, it’s a mate,
That conquered me, and am battling to reach this,
Not to be bonded and bounded, but to be dissolved!

Unlike human, this “feeling” cannot refuse me,
It flows to me whenever I feel it, flies to my heart,
May be I subjugated over, as I can feel it all around,
Right there in air, on my finger tips, in my thoughts,
Whenever I want, it just thrives and exists for me!

A nostalgic music that’s played on my loneliness,
A bond, a connect, a conquer, a battle and my “part”,
It’s an angelic aroma that overflowed my musings,
It’s a magic that flew to me and made me fly high,
A trance, a space, a feel, and a gift that perfected me!

Am Sleepy...!

Gazing through wavering senses of subsistence,
Steadily fixed peeps stirred with some thought,
Reality seem oscillating between my mind and galaxies,
This very moment swings my dreams, some lullabies!
Doubt creeps in, is life a dream? Am I awake?
Ain’t moving! All’s freezed as time’s stretching forth,
Did eternity capture me and my earthly instincts?
Can feel some drowsy aura making me inactive,
Some tender breeze shutting my eyelids softly,
This angelic fragrance runs through my every vein,
Releasing my sense’s grips, to suspend into “dream”,
Am stooping! Am slipping! Am sliding! And am lost!

- Deep
Friday, March 26th, 2010.