Of Storms, of Deaths and of Healing

Old breezes,

wet my feet.

New twigs,

bloom.

Retrieve

The truth steps in quietly

with its yearning feet that

lie in timeless love and wait.

Where else can a bruised heart stop?

.

My Shrinking Lover

III

Your Image! Dear love, your image

Comes to me in scarce shreds

Of death.

II

Where is your truth?

Where is your heart?

Have you lost the truth?

Have you lost the heart? 

I

My heart-less lover

in eternal disguise!

How flawless ? 

Await

When all I only have is

just a helpless memory

of a long lost lover.

Infinity

Dear broken heart,

what brings you back into shape again?

to be broken once more…

Bear with my bareness

I would someday

Tie one end of my

Suicide rope

To God’s heart

In heaven     

And

Hang myself

Stark naked

On the other end.

..

విశ్వమంత విరివిగా విరిసి,
వేల వెలుగుల వేగమై వెలిసి
వర్షిస్తూ, వరిస్తూ, విరులై వీస్తూ
వలస వచ్చు వన్నెల వలపై
వేచి వున్న ఉనికిపై వాలెను !

Melancholy

This night,

is just the same,

comes back as an old tale

with no distortions

of time’s transitions.

It leaps back.

This night hour,
stagnated with

waived off love,

isn’t less dark,

isn’t less painful,

just because it’s

a different day.

Poison Sea

I suffer this disease,

Of ‘lost-love’,

Multiplying Images,

Of demolished castles,

Collide and crash,

In emptiness and absence,

Blasting each life cell,

In the aching body

That walks alone…

Towards the starless sky,

That’s lost like a corpse,

In the waterless ocean,

In the void –

Each second dies,

Like a falling star,

To the ground,

Like falling tear drop.

This pain lives forever,

This wound isn’t old,

This love becomes strange,

Each moment I die,

With anguish for the lost-love.

I stand here,

Drenched in raining pain,

In remembrance,

In wait,

I kill myself infinite times,

With dagger of your image,

I masturbate in tears,

Till my bed sink and float,

In blood and tears,

Mixed like lust and love.

Like pain and words,

I suffocate tremendously,

In Loneliness and Love,

This night I stare,

At the vast sky,

Wondering if u were der,

Unreachable to love.

Death and Me.

Bless me with love,

Not to love is ‘death’,

But, to love is also ‘death’.

So, I drag myself close in bed,

As my prayers shower back,

Like the ruins of greatest empires.

When war is the condition,

When silence is the fruit,

When ‘love’ becomes an out-caste,

Life attains its meaning in death.

So, I longed endlessly for its touch.

My suffering began to flourish – in ‘death’.

Death sleeps beside me each night,

So intimate and so close lover,

I suck its breasts in pain,

I discover infinite orgasms,

In floating tears…flowing,

This death becomes one with me,

Deep inside of me, I discover…

Love, “Death’ is your other name!”

God, ‘death’ is your precious blessing!

Good Bye Love!

This love,

Never ends.

Living to die again,

Healing to wound again,

It exists in remembrance,

It dies in forgetfulness.

To tear apart,

To bring closer.

This evening,

I scribble a thousand words,

In your absent presence.

As you strangle my love,

For reasons and results,

In hesitation and doubt,

I die a second time,

In your silence.

Battle

If I had the power to bring back love,

If I could leap back into lost hours,

If I were not human,

If it wasn’t love,

I would’ve fought these gushing tears,

Rushing at the brim of my throat,

Making me so powerless tonight!

Lover Guest!

To you I sang...
Silent songs of "Love",
I ripped open my flesh,
- in Innocence and Purity!
Like a child... I ran unto your image,
But, At your distant touch,
and immovable heart for me,
i lay weeping in cold,
right next to your door!
Because...
You gauged the shores of my love with yardsticks!
I crash, collapse and cease to exist,
because u ask me to empty the streams,
to dry up the oceans,
to be calm when the tides are high,
and nailed me to the floor - Bleeding!
I feel so lifeless - being dragged to death!
Just tears...

Dreams weaned

I wanted to tell you,
My stories,
Of love.
Of innocence.
Of madness.
So i dug them,
From the depths of my heart,
I told you,
Like a baby,
I sucked and clung,
to the dreams of love.

I started telling,
my longing tales,
to your milky breasts,
which promised to feed,
the longing,
and pain,
remained unreal,
at the hope.

One day,
Dreams are weaned,
As we speak different languages,
and the stories are unheard,
And eternal blindness,
Masked your eyes,
to look through,
the stories of my love,
of my language!

Touch

You blow like a chill wind over me,

Moving soft over the surface,

Did you touch?

The waters of love and innocence,

While I lie and spread myself beneath,

Buried under,

The chill breeze,

Some pieces of feelings,

Flashes of lonely nights,

Darkness,

Pain,

Tears,

You,
me,
I...

Decay

You would never see,

Till I paint it before your eyes,

The ocean of love,

Hidden in my silence!

You would never hear,

Till I whisper in your ears,

The innocent stories of love,

Secretly consuming me!

You would never know,

Till you choose to witness,

The miracle in my heart,

That is you!

I Long for Pain, In Pain !

Tonight,

Feels so dim, airy and resolved.

I gaze into my faint mind,

I look through and beyond,

Breathing in the pages of past,

I travel,

By memories – Immortal,

This fragile moment, 

Leads me into floating trance, 

Which comforts and covers,

My naked thoughts,

Those are shivering in cold of the day,

So I waited,

Till this hour of recluse,

During which I knock,  

The doors of my juvenescence,

-          Erratically hidden,

 Now, I seek to enter,

        Into the space of torment,

        To drink nostalgic pain,

        Yes! I am thirsty,

        I crave and crawl,

        For that quenching drop,

        Of ache and sorrow,

        This wakes up my drowsy thoughts,

        Those are vanishing in the air,

        Buried underneath soils of “comfort”,

        Lord, bless me with suffering,

        So that I can rise again,

        And fly,

        Beyond desires and joys,

        Into the spaces of ecstatic twinge,

        To waver and wander,

        In the heaviness of bright anguish,

        I soar into Morning through mourning,

        With ejected “grief”,

        And empty heart,

        So, I long for darkness again,

        Tears Tonight!

The “I” hole…

An infinite space hangs doubtfully,
Between the poles of fathom and lost gazes,
Silent like the windswept skies – Starless…

Questions and reasons abscond insanely,
To sink in the pensive storm!
The unanswered scantiness…

The Earth remained still for a moment,
While the fragile abyss broke,
Into tears –

Irk

 

You write,
The lovely dreams,
On my spread heart,
You write beautifully,
The secret stories,
I feel it while you write,
I open my eyes to see,
But, you rub it away,
Even before I read!
I search insanely,
For the lost letters,
Frustrated and irksome,
Grow sharp claws of pain,
To tear and pierce,
Blood all over the place,
Split open my precipitated mind,
I gaze into it,
Find blank pages,
Fluttering calmly,
In silence and death!

You weave,
The garment of love,
Your body with mine,
Closely and genially,
I feel the warmth,
I wish to cover myself,
With that eternal robe,
But, you untie the threads,
Tear it anxiously,
Even before I wear,
Leaving me naked,
Cold,
Desperate,
I find the pieces torn,
Of rejected clothes,
Lying scattered on the floor!
My heart fails to beat,
My mind lost in nothingness,
Numb and in love,
I remember you…

Tears ...

The moment I was born, an element within erupted,
A fraction that’s at rest began to move, to co- exist,
Began to rip open, while released from mom’s womb,
Came alive with my first sense, first gaze, and first cry!

Dwelled in my every vein; moved in my protoplasm,
Mushroomed inside each time I resolved and ached,
Only to collide and explode like the once ago cosmos,
Can’t number these atoms like stars in the heavens!

Can feel it painful at times running through my throat,
It’s all alive, proliferating deeply to choke my breath,
Suffocating my very existence, reminding mom’s womb,
But, I know, it breathes within me, making me alive!

I resolve to unwrap the joy and pain, as long as I “am”,
I dare to face and feel, and then will I see and sense life,
The fragments grow old; grow intense, I do each second,
Till I die, let me say, these are my dense elements; “Tears!”