Where Pain Lies...

I swam inwards,

Against the currents,

You are beautiful…

Like a cloud; like a zygote,

Shapeless like universe,

beyond words.

I conceived love

Pregnant with flames,

Of sacred passion!

Unfortunately,

we began to grow,

Like fetus in womb,

turning upside down,

We are flooded outwards,

to find our only outlets.

Shaped body comes out

through shaped vagina!

I find us now,

Reflecting unalike images,

On the opposite mirrors,

Of body and heart!

We conceive death,

With the birth of corporeal,

Beginning to die,

Each moment,

Not because we forget,

the way to travel inwards,

but because now we know,

the way to travel outwards!

Shadow

I melt into time’s pangs,

Yesterday and today twist into each other,

Winning and loosing; dying and living,

I am torn apart indistinguishably,

by the hopeless duality of this world,

where love burns and also melts,
I remain just as a shadow,
of this unachievable dream,
Drenched and swimming, yet thirsty!

River

The lingering disquiets

of flowing waters underneath

the lorn echoes of my soul,

are eternally unheard,

on becoming,

unknown to each other,

in this dark,

that restlessly haunts !

Stars

Silence exists,

In the midst of all presences,

Yet, it cannot touch any!

Life is inescapable,

To live,

Silence exists like a solitary star,

And blaze intensely,

In dense darkness!

When the sky dissolves in its moon light,

She silently waits,

For the humble voice of dark!

May be,

To wait in patience is crucial of all.

“Love” also is a dense voice of dark,

It’s the shining smoke that coils in the darkness,

Being wounded!

Clouds appear at night to let the sky disappear,

Under which silence bows its head,

Breathing the sky in air,

The silence which cannot touch anything!

If the past “love” still persist,

It would certainly return now,

May be, it sunk with heaviness,

Into the sand of uncertain bonds!

Love is a long journey,

It could’ve been tired,

Wings!

Wings that embrace you,

Might have turned feeble with time!

Eyes may be moving slightly like the dull fish,

The dark scars beneath the eyes flow like the black rivers,

The body withers like a sunflower of twilight,

Instead of equally stretched hands to hug,

They must have drooped to the ground!

 

In everyone’s presence,

The silent echoes might be hovering,

Even though, life has to be lived,

For sure,

Because,

Life will just begin,

Don’t abandon me in the old age,

When love’s presence feels doubtful,

Do not go,

Come back,

Life has just begun!

Walk

 I walk away,

 And walk towards

 the night dreams.

 Which swivel like,

 Darkness and clouds,

 Like wind and time,

 Uncovering love,
 by overlapping images.

 In the swept past,

 of this love story,

 that’s heard in,

 every rain pat

 drop by drop,
 that's imprinted on,
 every night walk,
 step by step,
 telling tales,

 while falling asleep,
 little by little,
 into some unknown,
 unheard and unseen
 yesterday's memories !

 

Afternoon

Words existed between us,

When there was love.

Suffering existed between us,

When there was pain,

Nothing-ness began to exist,

As we are transforming into,

Two single pieces of love and pain.

Like the divided dusk and dawn,

One after the other,

Cyclical and Cynical,

We roll in a rolling ball!

Lover

Like an unperceived word in my soul,

Whirling freely in boundless pain,

You collapse into meaningless-ness,

Of this unborn poem!

Goddess

When lust awakes as bright as this afternoon,

sprawling on bare whiteness of these pages,

My forcefully stretched nakedness rush bloodily,

into houses of ‘Masturbation’ on lonely streets.

As I gather red letters spilled all over my bed,

You become a deity in temple of my desire,

Chained and cursed behind bars of my mind,

to be a lone prisoner bound by shackles of love,

Until this day light blend into few dusky orgasms.

Schism

Stillness slowly freezes into unhidden whirls,

Time cleverly clusters into countable pieces,

Dreams dimly unfold into written stories,

Tonight, we are held apart doubtfully,

by silence, moments and thoughts.

Sleepless nights curl warmly,

Into nothingness of ‘we’,

‘Love’ is just a word,

Resurrecting into,

Something-ness,
standing alone,

between us.

It's rooted,

and nailed,

Waiting,

in 'You'

in 'Me'.
and,
in,
I.

Dry

You come closer,

Slowly and unnoticed,

While am closed in pain,

You silently stand behind me.

Blowing air coolly,

Onto my cheeks,

Drying up the pain,

Even before they run down!

So that the stories can be re-told,

Claiming blameless joys,

Since there were no tears,

That there was no pain.

But like a thief,

You stole my tears,
leaving me dry!

Poison Sea

I suffer this disease,

Of ‘lost-love’,

Multiplying Images,

Of demolished castles,

Collide and crash,

In emptiness and absence,

Blasting each life cell,

In the aching body

That walks alone…

Towards the starless sky,

That’s lost like a corpse,

In the waterless ocean,

In the void –

Each second dies,

Like a falling star,

To the ground,

Like falling tear drop.

This pain lives forever,

This wound isn’t old,

This love becomes strange,

Each moment I die,

With anguish for the lost-love.

I stand here,

Drenched in raining pain,

In remembrance,

In wait,

I kill myself infinite times,

With dagger of your image,

I masturbate in tears,

Till my bed sink and float,

In blood and tears,

Mixed like lust and love.

Like pain and words,

I suffocate tremendously,

In Loneliness and Love,

This night I stare,

At the vast sky,

Wondering if u were der,

Unreachable to love.

Death and Me.

Bless me with love,

Not to love is ‘death’,

But, to love is also ‘death’.

So, I drag myself close in bed,

As my prayers shower back,

Like the ruins of greatest empires.

When war is the condition,

When silence is the fruit,

When ‘love’ becomes an out-caste,

Life attains its meaning in death.

So, I longed endlessly for its touch.

My suffering began to flourish – in ‘death’.

Death sleeps beside me each night,

So intimate and so close lover,

I suck its breasts in pain,

I discover infinite orgasms,

In floating tears…flowing,

This death becomes one with me,

Deep inside of me, I discover…

Love, “Death’ is your other name!”

God, ‘death’ is your precious blessing!

Body

My body suffers with pseudo stigma of the physical.

Why didn’t God let my breast grow inwards?

So that u cud drive into me and caress from within,

The fruits of passion ; Tender and Juicy.

The inseparable curves of my unending desire!

So, I turned inside out - In love, with love, by love.

To let you reach my inner fruits those are,

Internally hidden for an eternal touch.

I waited tirelessly; I am still waiting unclothed ---
Peel of my skin! Chop off my breasts! as i retrieve to death,  

Not knowing how to turn outside-in again!

Good Bye Love!

This love,

Never ends.

Living to die again,

Healing to wound again,

It exists in remembrance,

It dies in forgetfulness.

To tear apart,

To bring closer.

This evening,

I scribble a thousand words,

In your absent presence.

As you strangle my love,

For reasons and results,

In hesitation and doubt,

I die a second time,

In your silence.

Cremate

I try to forget love,

I try to forget pain,

I try to forget tears,

As the massive tides chase,

Quick to devour Life…!

I run away,

From the memories,

Haunting painfully,

In loneliness, In silence.

In absence.

I dare not to search,

The lost heart,

The vanished magic,

In the wounded ocean,

Of my endless tear drop!

As I forget you, I forget love.

As I forget love, I forget life.

As I forget life, I forget myself!

As I forget myself, I forget to write…

So this poem ends - burning alive !

- In remembrance of the Dead Love.

Cemetery

I discover love,

In the vision,

That befalls calmly,

Before the dawn.

The leading fire,

to unopened eyes,

burns within,

The love light.

I wake up,

and see the day light,

That obscures

My loved dreams.

In the darkness,

Of the mid-day,

I search intensely,

For the dead love!

So, I wait,

Till the hour,

Of fleeting dusk,

To touch love,

In endless death.

Creation

With open eyes,

Listen to my whispers,

As I move, fly and swim.

Because…

I speak ‘love’ to u,

Be my ‘word’!

Battle

If I had the power to bring back love,

If I could leap back into lost hours,

If I were not human,

If it wasn’t love,

I would’ve fought these gushing tears,

Rushing at the brim of my throat,

Making me so powerless tonight!

Suicide

I creep heavily,
like a pregnant whore.
Fully loaded with "nostalgic fluids",
I suffocate in the last moments.
Through the dark tunnels,
worms crawl in anger,
onto my bulged pain!

I shrink towards death.
The unborn agony,
Ejaculates inwards,
Poisoning every vein,
Demise of Heart!

I rush in madness,
Wander like an outcast.
And I stop at the fissure of deep wound,
look through the ruptured opening,
within the bleeding cut,
I discover my"self",
Throbbing for death!

I cease to breath,
to become one with the wound,
that dwells within,
In silence.

An Anatomy of a De-freezing Self.

 I travel
 Through ------
  Diffusion.
    Irreversible Time.
     Dissected Home.
       A Chosen Intelligence.
       A Driven Heart.
         S P L T T I N G   S E L F.
           Disuniting --------
            Convulsions!
Scattered Nerves!
Thunder! Roar!
Darkness!
Flood!
Fear!
War!
I...
   ---------- Immovable Time ------------
                      Rapid Pain
                 Extreme Acceleration.
                                                               B U R ST !!!
                                                       
                                                           Silence. Sleep. Self.
                                                                     Found.
                                                                        Death's Head.
                                                                            Buried.
                                                                               Night.
                                                                  --------------------------
Dawn.
   Drawn.
      Discovery.
        Driven.
           I Travel.
             Towards.
              ----------The Beginning.--------

Lover Guest!

To you I sang...
Silent songs of "Love",
I ripped open my flesh,
- in Innocence and Purity!
Like a child... I ran unto your image,
But, At your distant touch,
and immovable heart for me,
i lay weeping in cold,
right next to your door!
Because...
You gauged the shores of my love with yardsticks!
I crash, collapse and cease to exist,
because u ask me to empty the streams,
to dry up the oceans,
to be calm when the tides are high,
and nailed me to the floor - Bleeding!
I feel so lifeless - being dragged to death!
Just tears...

Dreams weaned

I wanted to tell you,
My stories,
Of love.
Of innocence.
Of madness.
So i dug them,
From the depths of my heart,
I told you,
Like a baby,
I sucked and clung,
to the dreams of love.

I started telling,
my longing tales,
to your milky breasts,
which promised to feed,
the longing,
and pain,
remained unreal,
at the hope.

One day,
Dreams are weaned,
As we speak different languages,
and the stories are unheard,
And eternal blindness,
Masked your eyes,
to look through,
the stories of my love,
of my language!

Pearl

The thought slipped into halt,

At the lacuna of your image,

Painted on dreamed concave,

Of hollow tear drop!

Like the preciousness stored,

In the silence of an oyster,

You exist in my nothingness,

Vacuum gushes within!

As I remember the quietness,

Of your void glances,

Am driven into your absence,

Dwelling in crevices of love!

Jasmine

Fragrance consumed.

Memories lure.

And the earth revolves,

Backwards.

Summer blooms.

Jasmines,

Pressed on my bed,

Turn red and wet.

Splash of fire,

Eject,

Burn.

Ashes from the past,

Fly to me,

Like ravens.

Heart loaf,

On the table,

Juicy.

You dine.

Blinded.

Every night.
I bleed within.

And I wake up,

Fresh jasmines,

New Born,

With old nightmares.

The earth revolves,

Again. 

Bubble

At my touch, it exploded!

Fragile or fierce?

Happily never after,

Dissent or assent?

Cuz at your touch,

I exploded!